ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
