someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i already hear my dad disowning me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize