best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
They have beer where we have blood.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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