oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
