it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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