dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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