It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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