mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize