I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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