Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
