I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
