going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
