party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I want a musical about memes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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