I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
