living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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