I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
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You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
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I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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