if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
