i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
