He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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