So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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