"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
