So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
