There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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