OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
