God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
