and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
