"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
