idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
id be glad to
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
