I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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