mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
