I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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