I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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