Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
