am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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