God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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