PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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