That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
