We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
