I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
