you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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