She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
