You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
