There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
