By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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