Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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