I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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