Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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