I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
