Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
