I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
