Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
