At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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