2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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