i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize