he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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