these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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