So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
