I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
