He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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