Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
