fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize