What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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