I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
don't judge my taste in strippers
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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